When I was in middle school I had a battle with depression. For the most part, I have gotten over it and I'm pretty happy with what I have made of myself, but there are still times where I feel like I did back then - pretty much any time I am in school. That's how the depression started. One of my teachers said things I took offense to and I let things build up and eventually tear me down. That's kind of what I feel like right now. I'm pretty sure that where I am in school is not where I want to be, but I am close enough to graduating that I'm not going to throw it all away at this point. I'm just having trouble keeping myself positive and it's dragging me down, turning me into someone I don't want to be again. I had hoped that the whole school/depression scenario would be gone by this point, but some things will never change I guess. So for now, the fight will go on, and hopefully I end up on the positive end, because feeling like this isn't something I want to re-live again.
Also, I generally don't like talking about myself like this or being negative, so this will more than likely be the only post like this. Just felt like saying something somewhere.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
An Extraordinary Week
I've had an eventful last week. Let's start this post there.
Last Saturday I flew down to New York City to visit a friend who was there on a mini-vacation. She's a great friend and any chance I get to hang out with her is a chance I am not going to let slip away. I was excited to see her, but there was something about the trip that I wasn't very excited about. Not going to specify what it was, but it made me go into the day with my guard up. I was very defensive of my friend all day and it wasn't the experience I was hoping it would be. There were times during the day where I had almost wished I stayed home...it was that tough. When you care about someone as much as I care about this friend and you are there with her and someone who hurt her in the past, you'd be defensive too. My biggest worry was that there would be hurting again and I wasn't going to allow that to happen. Did I take it too far? Probably. My friend is very strong and more than capable of holding her own, and I know she won't let this guy hurt her again, but I couldn't not be defensive. Saying goodbye was very hard on Saturday night, and since then I have decided to take a step back. Haven't heard from my friend since early in the week, and that's ok. She's a real friend and a real good friend at that, and knock on wood we'll be great friends for a long time to come. Looking back on Saturday, it sucked that it went the way it did, but I was only doing what I thought was right. Sometimes it's better to stick to what your intuition tells you to do rather than caving in and going along with something that doesn't feel right. I did what I thought was right and, after looking back on it, don't regret it. My loyalty runs deep and if I think my friend is in danger I defend my friend. Same goes for any of my other friends. I'm a believer in the theory that good things happen to people if they do right to others, and in the days following my New York adventure, great things happened.
Tuesday night I went to Fenway Park to watch the Red Sox play the Oakland Athletics with my buddy Dinur and his friend Crystal. It was Crystal's "almost 30th" birthday, so we went to Jerry Remy's Grill behind the park for dinner before the game. Great place and great times were had. Crystal got us moved to the first row behind the Oakland bullpen for the game...one of the best views in all of professional sports in baseball's foremost cathedral. Boston won the game and we all went home happy. The three of us went to the game on Wednesday night as well, got moved to the same seats again, and the Red Sox won again. The guys in the Oakland bullpen remembered us from the night before so we exchanged pleasantries before the game.
Then Thursday happened.
Thursday was one of the single greatest days of my entire life. As a kid growing up in Boston you always dream about walking on the field at Fenway Park and possibly meeting one of the players. Thursday was all of those things and more. I got to Fenway with my buddy Dinur before 10AM to go up onto the Green Monster before the game. Crystal had bought him a pass as a going away gift [he's going back home to San Jose pretty soon] and I got to go up there as his guest. When they told us we had to go back into the concourse, I thought it'd just be a normal game day where we could walk around the park and then go to our seats when the game started...this was a different day. This was a special day. This was the day I would live my childhood dream of walking on the field at Fenway Park. They led us onto the warning track in center field and when I set foot on the hallowed grounds of the field I grew up going to watch games on, I felt like a little kid again. There I was walking in front of the Green Monster, looking around at the field and smiling like a kid who walked into a candy store and was told "take whatever you want". Then the stadium announcer said that it was Fan Photo Day and that the Red Sox players would be walking around greeting all of the fans and taking photos with us. I'm on the field with a great friend living a dream and then they tell me that the players are coming to meet us?? Yes. That happened. I met and had my photo taken with Dustin Pedroia, Adrian Beltre, Daniel Bard, Manny Delcarmen, David Ortiz, Daisuke Matsuzaka, got to shake manager Terry Francona's hand, and on the other side of the field, got to talk to Oakland Pitcher Dallas Braden, who threw a perfect game a few weeks ago. And right before they were asking us all to leave the field, my buddy Dinur asked Braden if he had a ball. Braden pulled a ball out of his back pocket and gave it to Dinur, who gave the ball to me. In about 90 minutes, a day at the ballpark had turned into one of the greatest days of my life, and I was happy I had a great friend there along for the ride.
I needed a week like this past one after what happened a week ago, but could never have anticipated what happened on Thursday. It was as if someone somewhere was looking out for me and knew I was acting with the best of intentions in New York even though the day didn't go so well. Thursday was a gift...good karma caught up with me and allowed me one of the greatest experiences I will ever have as long as I am here on this earth. I lived a childhood dream and will remember that day forever.
Last Saturday I flew down to New York City to visit a friend who was there on a mini-vacation. She's a great friend and any chance I get to hang out with her is a chance I am not going to let slip away. I was excited to see her, but there was something about the trip that I wasn't very excited about. Not going to specify what it was, but it made me go into the day with my guard up. I was very defensive of my friend all day and it wasn't the experience I was hoping it would be. There were times during the day where I had almost wished I stayed home...it was that tough. When you care about someone as much as I care about this friend and you are there with her and someone who hurt her in the past, you'd be defensive too. My biggest worry was that there would be hurting again and I wasn't going to allow that to happen. Did I take it too far? Probably. My friend is very strong and more than capable of holding her own, and I know she won't let this guy hurt her again, but I couldn't not be defensive. Saying goodbye was very hard on Saturday night, and since then I have decided to take a step back. Haven't heard from my friend since early in the week, and that's ok. She's a real friend and a real good friend at that, and knock on wood we'll be great friends for a long time to come. Looking back on Saturday, it sucked that it went the way it did, but I was only doing what I thought was right. Sometimes it's better to stick to what your intuition tells you to do rather than caving in and going along with something that doesn't feel right. I did what I thought was right and, after looking back on it, don't regret it. My loyalty runs deep and if I think my friend is in danger I defend my friend. Same goes for any of my other friends. I'm a believer in the theory that good things happen to people if they do right to others, and in the days following my New York adventure, great things happened.
Tuesday night I went to Fenway Park to watch the Red Sox play the Oakland Athletics with my buddy Dinur and his friend Crystal. It was Crystal's "almost 30th" birthday, so we went to Jerry Remy's Grill behind the park for dinner before the game. Great place and great times were had. Crystal got us moved to the first row behind the Oakland bullpen for the game...one of the best views in all of professional sports in baseball's foremost cathedral. Boston won the game and we all went home happy. The three of us went to the game on Wednesday night as well, got moved to the same seats again, and the Red Sox won again. The guys in the Oakland bullpen remembered us from the night before so we exchanged pleasantries before the game.
Then Thursday happened.
Thursday was one of the single greatest days of my entire life. As a kid growing up in Boston you always dream about walking on the field at Fenway Park and possibly meeting one of the players. Thursday was all of those things and more. I got to Fenway with my buddy Dinur before 10AM to go up onto the Green Monster before the game. Crystal had bought him a pass as a going away gift [he's going back home to San Jose pretty soon] and I got to go up there as his guest. When they told us we had to go back into the concourse, I thought it'd just be a normal game day where we could walk around the park and then go to our seats when the game started...this was a different day. This was a special day. This was the day I would live my childhood dream of walking on the field at Fenway Park. They led us onto the warning track in center field and when I set foot on the hallowed grounds of the field I grew up going to watch games on, I felt like a little kid again. There I was walking in front of the Green Monster, looking around at the field and smiling like a kid who walked into a candy store and was told "take whatever you want". Then the stadium announcer said that it was Fan Photo Day and that the Red Sox players would be walking around greeting all of the fans and taking photos with us. I'm on the field with a great friend living a dream and then they tell me that the players are coming to meet us?? Yes. That happened. I met and had my photo taken with Dustin Pedroia, Adrian Beltre, Daniel Bard, Manny Delcarmen, David Ortiz, Daisuke Matsuzaka, got to shake manager Terry Francona's hand, and on the other side of the field, got to talk to Oakland Pitcher Dallas Braden, who threw a perfect game a few weeks ago. And right before they were asking us all to leave the field, my buddy Dinur asked Braden if he had a ball. Braden pulled a ball out of his back pocket and gave it to Dinur, who gave the ball to me. In about 90 minutes, a day at the ballpark had turned into one of the greatest days of my life, and I was happy I had a great friend there along for the ride.
I needed a week like this past one after what happened a week ago, but could never have anticipated what happened on Thursday. It was as if someone somewhere was looking out for me and knew I was acting with the best of intentions in New York even though the day didn't go so well. Thursday was a gift...good karma caught up with me and allowed me one of the greatest experiences I will ever have as long as I am here on this earth. I lived a childhood dream and will remember that day forever.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
So it's 1:08AM and I have decided that I wanted to write something. Why? Not a clue other than that I am almost always thinking about something.
I went to the Boston Blazers season ticket holder preseason banquet thing tonight and met Dan Dawson, the reigning NLL MVP and captain of the Blazers. He couldn't have been a nicer guy and I got to talk to him for about ten minutes. We started talking about Toronto because that's where he is from and I have been there a few times. That conversation has led me to want to go back to Toronto soon. I have a mini-vacation to Montreal in the works for April or May right now, so I may add a day or two in Toronto to that itinerary. I haven't been to Montreal yet, so I'm definitely looking forward to finally getting there and exploring the city.
The USA beat Canada 6-5 in overtime in what was a tremendous gold medal game at the IIHF world junior championships, ending Canada's streak of five consecutive gold medal performances. As an American and a fan of hockey in general, I couldn't ask for a better scenario. Full marks to the Canadian kids as well, because they gave it everything they had out there. A few pucks bounce in different directions and the script is written differently. Hockey is funny like that. In any case, tonight is a great night for the USA Hockey program.
What else...the Bruins went up to Ottawa and won 4-1. Two big points in a divisional game, and Miroslav Satan had a good debut in the Black and Gold sweater. No points to his credit, but he looked comfortable with the system and will be a nice addition to the Boston offense.
I suppose that's all for now.
A
I went to the Boston Blazers season ticket holder preseason banquet thing tonight and met Dan Dawson, the reigning NLL MVP and captain of the Blazers. He couldn't have been a nicer guy and I got to talk to him for about ten minutes. We started talking about Toronto because that's where he is from and I have been there a few times. That conversation has led me to want to go back to Toronto soon. I have a mini-vacation to Montreal in the works for April or May right now, so I may add a day or two in Toronto to that itinerary. I haven't been to Montreal yet, so I'm definitely looking forward to finally getting there and exploring the city.
The USA beat Canada 6-5 in overtime in what was a tremendous gold medal game at the IIHF world junior championships, ending Canada's streak of five consecutive gold medal performances. As an American and a fan of hockey in general, I couldn't ask for a better scenario. Full marks to the Canadian kids as well, because they gave it everything they had out there. A few pucks bounce in different directions and the script is written differently. Hockey is funny like that. In any case, tonight is a great night for the USA Hockey program.
What else...the Bruins went up to Ottawa and won 4-1. Two big points in a divisional game, and Miroslav Satan had a good debut in the Black and Gold sweater. No points to his credit, but he looked comfortable with the system and will be a nice addition to the Boston offense.
I suppose that's all for now.
A
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